Rap Royalty: Tom Hanks & Chet Hanx
In Hollywood the apple doesn't always fall close to the tree. Plenty of mega-stars deliver us progeny that are decidedly low grade, less-than-suitable sequels to their parents. Jake Busey, Jaden Smith, Scott Eastwood, the list goes on. But there is one dad & boy duo who deliver the heat, especially when it comes to establishing a hip-hop dynasty.
That's right, I'm talking about Tom Hanks and his son, Chet. Today I'll be doing a brief review of these two mega-stars' greatest musical hits, and attempting to answer the question on all of our minds: who's the better rapper, Tom or Chet?
First up is Tom Hanks's 1987 single "City of Crime" feat. Dan Aykroyd, another hip hop legend. Although tastes have changed over the years, there's no denying this remains one of the most influential hip hop songs ever recorded, forever cementing Hanks's reputation as an all-star MC.
Man, I miss the 80s. Everything was fresh back then. Except the food.
How a young boy could grow up in the shadow of a magnum opus like "City of Crime" and aspire to step outside it is beyond me. But somehow Chet Hanks, A.K.A. Chet Hanx, found a way to believe in himself and dare to dream. Chet knew that attempting to make a name for himself as a legitimate rapper would only draw comparisons to his god-like father, but he decided to do it anyway.
In 2021, Chet dropped "White Boy Summer". It was like a nuclear bomb - the shockwave circled the world and blew away any doubter stupid enough to stand up to it. It was proof that, despite the prevailing attitudes about inherited traits, maybe talent does run in families.
Behold.
Chet adopts a frisky Jamaican patois to deliver us the chorus:
Rude boy, it's a white boy summer
Bad gyal, white don dada
This will surely go over well, and has no chance of drawing unwanted controversy to the Hanks clan. After all, this is a family much-beloved for their playful, mocking impressions of other races and cultures. I don't see what could go wrong.
When he's not pretending to be a Jamaican, Chet elevates his lyrical game with the verses of "White Boy Summer", painting evocative pictures of his life and desires:
Yeah, forty racks off merch
First date, bitch you might go berserk
Yeah I might make her squirt
Let me see you make it twerk
What Chet is saying here is that he's selling merchandise like you wouldn't believe, and his skills on a first date are enough to make you lose your composure. What's more, if you go to bed with him, you are likely to experience coital incontinence - so be careful.
Also, please twerk.
The Verdict
It's hard to choose which Hanks is the best. Tom obviously has the legacy and the clout of being an OG, but Chet is really carving out a name for himself and differentiating his brand.
All things considered, I have to give the award to Chet, who has taken the genre his father built and elevated it to a whole new level. But don't just take it from me, here's some reviews of "White Boy Summer" from Youtube that show Chet is bound to be the greatest thing ever to happen to music.
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